Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
