Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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