He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
