allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Apparently you make a good broom.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
