You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
