I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
