is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize