this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
