I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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