I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
