I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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