your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
