I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we're making bets on your personal life
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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