Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We got so high we made milksteak
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
