I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
