Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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