plz talk dirty to me
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize