Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
