I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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