hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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