My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize