hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
