i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
