She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
