Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
