So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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