then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
