**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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