Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
