you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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