watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
