If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
