DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
