My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
