I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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