covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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