i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
