So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
whose parrot is this?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
