don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize