I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
