just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize