Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
