girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
