Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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