You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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