i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
