Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize