He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
