And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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