actually, I'm a sock model
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
