I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
