tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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