I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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