u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
