Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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