The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
