your parents love me but you hate me
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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