just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
