You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize