Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
