he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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